Check This Shit

lexstar04 @ 2008-10-08T14:17:00

2008-10-09T18:26:39Z

http://www.handbagplanet.com/

i never update, but i want a free purse! blahblah i havent updated this thing in so long, nothing in my life now would be relevant to anyone who might possibly read this. but, everything is great right now so thats all that matters!

new years

2007-01-06T21:56:45Z

I fucked up.
I hate myself right now.
& I am tired of people judging me.
If I am making the wrong decisions, or what you think are the wrong decisions get over it.
Let me make my own mistakes.
I'm learning from them slowly.
I KNOW that I fucked up again.
I know I made a bad choice, you don't need to be there reminding me.
Let it go, let it be.
Let me fucking handle my own life.
I'm not angry at anyone but myself, I just don't want friends who judge me.
Let me do what I am going to do.
I'm trying, I am.
My new years resolution, I just decided, is to be a better person.
To make better, smarter choices.
To have more respect for myself, and make people respect me.
But let me do it on my own terms, not yours.
<3

lexstar04 @ 2006-12-19T00:48:00

2006-12-19T04:48:48Z

I miss my dad more than I have in a long time.
& it sucks
because there is not a damn thing i can do about it.
dont take for granted the people you have in your life.
you will regret it.
end of story.

lexstar04 @ 2006-12-07T11:44:00

2006-12-07T15:44:41Z

1. fuck you mrs.mccoy
2. fuck you mrs.mccoy's class
3. fuuuccck my life if i get in trouble right before this weekend.

FUCK!

lexstar04 @ 2006-11-30T08:39:00

2006-11-30T12:39:00Z

3 years down, the rest of my life to go.

& it's not getting any easier.

lexstar04 @ 2006-11-11T16:49:00

2006-11-11T20:49:54Z

I know I have no livejournal friends, so no one is going to read this, but that is fine w/ me.
Life has been good lately. Lots of things seem to be happening, but I'm happy.
I'm not playing soccer for the first time in my life since I was 5.
& I am happy about it.
I think I've grown up a lot.
I'm not in denial about things that have happened, I acknowledge them & know that they hurt & that they suck but there is nothing I can do about it.
My house burned down,my dogs died.It sucks,but there is nothing I can do about it, & I accept it.
My dad died, & it was the hardest thing that I've ever gone through. I know it has changed me, even if how it has isn't completely apparent to me.But I accept it, & know that somehow some good will come from it.
I don't feel bad for myself, or think my life has sucked, or complain about "why me?"
Things happen, end of story.
There doesn't have to be reason.
All you have to know is:
LIFE WILL GO ON.

<3

i shou

2006-11-08T16:43:46Z

I should be doing a project right now, & i should be in school.oh well though.

TEN EMOTIONS.
1. are you missing someone right now?: nope
2. are you happy: yep
3. are you talking to anyone right now:uh huh
4. are you bored: obviously
5. are you german: no
6. are you irish: mo
7. are you french: i think so
8. are you Italian: no
9. are your parents still married: nope
10. do you like someone right now: kiiiind of.

TEN FAVORITES.
1. television show: Grey's <3
2. flower: carnations
3. color: a lot
4. sport: to watch? none, Boring.
5. mall: avenues or the new mall
6. music: everything
7. food: oh lord, toooo many
8. season: all of them have their benefits
9. animal: hm, i dont know.
10. state: FL

TEN FACTS.
1. homestate: Virginia
2. hair color: blondd
4. hair type: uh, i dont know. thin/med. lenght
5. eye color: blue
6. shoe size: big ha
7. mood: "giddy"
8. regrets about past summer: too many.
9. available: yes yes yessss.
10. lefty/righty: lefty

TEN THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE.
1. have you ever been in love: yep
3. have you loved someone: yep
4. have you ever been heartbroken: kind of.
5. have you ever broken someone's heart:yes.
6. have you ever fallen for one of your ssbest friends: no.
7. have you ever liked someone but never told them: yep
9. has someone ever kissed your hand: yeees
10. have you ever had a secret admirer: i dont think so

TEN THINGS: THIS OR THAT.
1. love or lust: love
2. hard liquor or beer: LIQUOR
4. one night stands or relationships: relationships
5. television or internet: TV
6. pepsi or coke: COKE
7. wild night out or romantic night: depends
8. colored pictures or black and white pictures: depends
9. phone or in person: person
10. msn or myspace: myspace

TEN HAVE Y0U EVER.
1. have you ever been caught sneaking out: freshman year.
2. have you ever skinny dipped: no i dont think so actually.
3. have you ever done something you regret: lots
4. have you ever bungee jumped: nooot yet
5. have you ever been on a house boat: i think so
6. have you ever finished an entire jaw breaker: probably, i love candy.
7. have you ever wanted someone so badly it hurt: yea..
8. have you ever had a one night stand: no.
9. have you ever danced in the rain: yep
10. have you ever had a hang over: yep

lexstar04 @ 2006-09-24T15:02:00

2006-09-24T19:05:33Z

My life seems so different this year, & I love it.

heres to things continuously changing for the better!
<3

-----

2006-08-22T02:22:17Z

I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
you knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm sorry that wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember the things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said was in sincerity.

im sorry.
its over.

lexstar04 @ 2006-08-09T17:56:00

2006-08-09T21:59:38Z

school started,school sucks but w/e.
its not going to be that hard at all this year.
soccer is going to kick my ass,again.
it always has been/will be my favorite sport,in theory.
this weekend will be amazing.
im determined.
friday night=[drunk]girls sleep over night at my house?iii think so.
haha,i got my phone taken away on the SECOND day of my senior year,how ridiculous.
& it stayed there over night,& my mom had to go get it.
& she supposedly is not letting me have it back,it has to stay in my car.wtf?
w/e life is good.
my friends=kick ass.
my boyfriend=amaziiingggg.
being a senior,FINALLY=sweet as fuuuck.
<3

lexstar04 @ 2006-07-30T17:31:00

2006-07-30T21:35:02Z

^{I am completely happy.

& the most forgetful drunk ever.

the end.
<3}

lexstar04 @ 2006-06-23T13:56:00

2006-06-23T17:58:31Z

lauren is leaving tomorrow.
i dont know what im going to do without her.
other than kristin & i bonding over her leaving,ha.
corey & i are falling apart.
& there is nothing more i can do about it.
i gave it my all.
what happens next, pretty much isnt up to me anymore.
a girl at bennigan's wants to kick my ass.
HAHAHAHA.
i am ready to go out//party mooooore.
:)

lexstar04 @ 2006-06-10T19:03:00

2006-06-10T23:07:58Z

life is goooood.
i <3 summer.
but hate summer heat.
soccer conditioning is going to kill me.
note to self:4 1/2 shots in 10 minutes, not a good idea. YOU ARE A LIGHTWEIGHT.
corey might leave, he might not leave. i will live either way.
lauren, is def leaving.it will be hard to live haha.
i talked to joey for the first time all summer tonight--yay :]
possibly a toga party w// joey on friday night--even bigger yay.
getting pulled over & then asking the cop for my "registration baggie"--hilarious
Q:adam,why are you not home for the summer?.

no very interesting stories to tell, sorry.

lexstar04 @ 2006-05-29T15:29:00

2006-05-29T19:36:07Z

I LOVE:
my best friend,lauren.
summer <3
cheap wine w/ kristin.
new people.
old people.
being capable of drinking w/out puking haha.
my boyfriend.:)
going out.
islands of adventure.
being happy.
LIFE!

lexstar04 @ 2006-05-06T00:05:00

2006-05-06T04:20:09Z

why is it, that the people you love the most,
sometimes seem to be the people that just make you feel like shitttttt?

i want to start hanging back out w// my old friends.iiiii miss them,esp hannah, kelly, & allie.:)
& actually, its not an "i want" its an "im going"

lexstar04 @ 2006-05-04T21:16:00

2006-05-05T01:17:44Z

i can't figure out how to do anything on my fucking sidekick.

HELP!

lexstar04 @ 2006-04-30T13:04:00

2006-04-30T17:17:41Z

i need to be doing a project.
i like livejournal,even though i dont have that many friends on it,& i dont give real updates.
relationships are drama[not just mine]
i like drinking a lot more now than i used too.
i miss lauren, i didnt see her at all this weekend.
i miss a lot of people, i need to start going out of my way more to hang out with different people.
i want to be tanner//light blonde again.
actually, i kind of just want to change my hair. any suggestions?
i want to whiten my teeth.
i need to improve my posture.
i miss my dad a lot more lately than i did when it first happened.
i think i was in denial.
almost 3 years.
i like seeing random people that i haven't seen in forever.
i like fun boys that make you laugh. :)
i miss a lot of people.
including one of my former bffs, whose house i stayed at for days at a time.
but, i love my best friends now.
& i love LP squared.
i miss kelly chaya.
its almost been a year.
corey is leaving over summer.
it will be weird at first, & really sad,but the change will be fun.
im ready for summer.
i want to have 2 jobs, im applying at adventure landing, i will hopefully be working 24/7 over summer=money money moneeyyyyy.
i wish i was a little bit older, so i could get better jobs now
i cant wait until i dont owe my mom anymore money.
that should be after this next paycheck.
lets stop being so dramatic.i just wanna enjoy life & have some fuuunnnn.
call me, hang out with me. im ready for new :)

lexstar04 @ 2006-04-26T20:23:00

2006-04-27T00:30:41Z

prom pictures:

what the fuck?

& my 2 favorites:

lexstar04 @ 2006-04-19T14:34:00

2006-04-19T18:40:56Z

end it now?or wait two months?
that is in reference to my relationship with corey.
its official that he's going to be gone all summer, on his yacht job.
i dont know what to do. savor the time we have, or just end it now so there will be less memories?
i have no clue what to do.
i want to be with him, but i dont know.
this is kind of going to haunt the rest of our relationship.
it'll be hanging over my head.
all our summer plans--no longer.
& everytime i think of something for us to do over summer, ill have to sit there & remember
"oh yea, he's not gonna be here."
i know he wants to stay together.
but, its easier to be the leaver than the left, right?

i just don't know what do.

lexstar04 @ 2006-04-15T12:20:00

2006-04-15T16:56:55Z

last night=amazing

+cheap vodka
+no boys
+tahitian treat
+kaleigh busting her ass in my kitchen
+all of us busting our asses on the trampoline haha [btw, i dont advice jumping on one while drunk]
+me spraying lysol 24/7
+having NOTHING to drink at my house
+random semi-karaoke moment in the car w// lean on me.
yea, just fun fun fun.

& im excited about weeks coming up because:
+parkers prom! :]
+kenny chesney.
+school getting out.
+almost one year, holy shit.
+ soccer being over
+ & yada yada yada.

^SURVEY:

TODAY did you...

1. Talk to someone you like: yes, the girls left my house like 2 hours ago.
2. Buy something: nope, i am later though.
3. Get sick: no, thanks goodness.
4. Sing: haha, no.
5. Make out with someone: not yet. coreys coming over later though ha.
6. Talk on the phone: yes
7. Go to school: nope, its the weekend :]
8. Talk to an ex: no
9. Miss someone: not really
___________________________________________________

LAST person who....

10. Slept in your bed: hannah & i
11. Saw you cry: haha everyone at paxons prom. woohoo for drunk crybabies [sam]. lets hope parkers doesn't go the same way.
12. Made you cry: hm, oh yea. my boyfriend.
13. Went to the movies with: corey, jake, & his friends.
14. You went to the mall with: my madre, looking for prom dresses.
15. You said "I Love You" and meant it: one of them last night.
____________________________________________________

HAVE you ever...

16. Been to Hawaii: no
17. Been to California: no
18. Been to Mexico: yep, cruise.
19. Been to Canada: No
20. Been to Florida: yea, once or twice.

RANDOM

22. What book are you reading now: none, but i want to read the DaVinci Code, & a bunch of others.
23. Best feeling in the world: whichever one makes you happiest.
24. Do you have a job: sportclips.
25. What do you sleep with: two pillows, wally lately.
26. What's under your bed: a bunch of shit.
27. Favorite sports to watch: sports are b-o-r-i-n-g to watch.
28. Current location: computer room
29. Piercing/Tattoos: ears only, but i want to get my lip done badddd.
30. What are you most scared of right now: grades? i dont know.
31. Where do you want to get married: outside.
32. Who do you really hate: no one :]
33. Do you like being around people:no. i want to be alone 24/7. haha, what the heck.
34. Have you ever cried yourself to sleep: yea, not often though.
35. Are you lonely right now: no
36. Song that's stuck in your head right now: none, im listening to music.
37. Played strip poker: no
38. Been on radio/TV: tv, for confrence.
39. Ever liked someone, but you they would never notice you: nope.
40. Ever liked someone who treated you like crap: probably. shit happens.

FIRSTS

41. First real best friend: james stubbs.
42. First school: pre-school in virginia.
43. First screenname: --- not going there---
44. First funeral: my great-grandma. i was really young though, i dont remember it.
45. First big trip: VA to FLA.
46. First celebrity love: nsync.
47. First job: sportclips.

LASTS

48. Last person you hugged: kaleigh
49. Last song you heard: on the radio? lean on me.
50. Last car ride: last night, we had to pick stuff up.
51. Last time you cried: dont know. i have more than usual lately. but, thats stopping.
52. Last movie you watched: part of ice age 2.
53. Last food: quesadilla.
54. Last person of the opposite sex that you talked to in person: don
56. Last phone call: corey

lexstar04 @ 2006-03-30T21:33:00

2006-03-31T02:50:56Z

Type your FIRST REACTION when you read these 34 words:

1. I need: money, to get everything together for prom.

2. Sex: is gooooood. :)

3. Relationships: can be fun.

4. My Last Ex: treated me like a princess.

5. Power :ful.

6. Marijuana : is fun.

7. Crack : KILLS

8. Food : is amazing.

9. The President : wasn't a good decision.

10. War : is inevitable.

11. Cars : iare pretty.

12. Gas Prices : are insane. thankg goodness for my bj's card.

13. Party : lets go.

14. Religion : no thanks.

15. Moon and Stars : outside nighttime? wth?

16. MySpace : is everywhere.

17. Worst Fear : dying. not death. dying.

18. Marriage : i hope i can do it.

19. Fashion : is fun. i wish i could be a model haha.

20. Brunettes: blondes have more fun.

21. Redheads : freckles

22: Work : sportclips.

23: Pass the time : doing whateverrrr.

24: Football : dont care about it

25. One night stand : they happen. get over it.

27: Pixie Stix : colored sugar.

28: Vanilla Ice : ice ice baby// TNMT 2.

29: Porta Pottys : ew.

30: High school: im over it.

31. Pajamas : comfortable.

32. Wood : fire

33. Surfers : helloooo hotties. :)

34. Love: being in?amazing.hard.complicated. butterflies.corey.

lexstar04 @ 2006-03-15T15:26:00

2006-03-15T20:34:59Z

"...This time I thought things were real,
You said they were,
What happened?
You were a priority,
Was I an option?
I let you see a side of me that I don't share with anyone.
Promises are just words unless they are fulfilled.
Knew from the beginning all I had to offer you was my heart,
I'm just sorry that it wasn't enough.
So, we'll go our own ways,
And hopefully you'll remember these things I've told you,
Hopefully you'll understand that everything I said is in sincerity.
A broken heart is not what I wanted from this,
But I guess I've learned from it.
But aren't you supposed to learn from your mistakes?
I don't consider this a mistake,
I just wish the story didn't end this way,
Cause I'm still in love with the person who helped me write it.
Remember when you held my hand like you'd never let it go?
Remember when we talked about where we'd be a year from now?"

i need to get over things.
it was just a few mistakes.
& i made the same ones later.
but i can't get over the fact, that i just wasn't wanted.
& no matter what the excuses, thats what it comes down to.
i just wasn't wanted.

lighter note:
prom dress shopping today.
wish me luck, ha.

lexstar04 @ 2006-03-09T22:01:00

2006-03-10T03:26:55Z

Just a few random things I want to say:
1. I am so ready for college.
2. I love Lauren Pamas, & willlll stick up for her. Back off.
3. I miss my dad. :(
4. I'm ready for Spring break.
5. I need a fucking jobbbbb, badly.
6. I owe my mom a shitton of money, & its just gonna keep adding up.
7. I miss old friends.
8. I need a prom dress!
9. I'm over soccer.
10. I want to go to a theme park, badly.

AND:

I am happy.
happyhappyhappyhappy.
end of story :)

haha yucky picture, but thumbs up for being happy :)

lexstar04 @ 2006-02-09T16:57:00

2006-02-09T21:58:15Z

yay for you.yay for me.yay for life!

2006-02-07T21:21:46Z

I'm so excited about life right now. In the weeks coming up:
Valentine's Day[& I actually have a valentine!]
Keith Urban with Hannah!
MONSTER TRUCK SHOW.[Getting Lauren drunk]
The boy making me breakfast this weekend :)

& thats all I can think of right now, but I think thats a pretty killer list. & I'm sure other things will present themselves.
I'm also happy with my level of maturity with some things right now. I'm enjoying the moment, while realizing at the same time, nothing lasts forever. But, when it ends, I'll be okay. Because I'll know I had a hell of a time while it was happening :)